not meant to be

Not fated to be
Whenever they mention about it,it made me sad;guilty with what I’ve done to u,it was unintentionally.i was too naïve,don’t know how to react properly even though deep down in my heart I was delighted,content and joyful with the ongoing situation.but the impact afterwards was rather melancholic.sometimes 1 or 2 drops fall down when they remind me of it,sometimes I’m truly regretting it.that’s the problem when u have this ‘disease’ of how to express feelings well.and others,including u ;think of the other way round.i still remember the feeling/reaction when we were exchanging news.funny/sweet/bizarre texts from u made me grin.i could still recall portion of it;not going to write it here.and soon after that I found out something,which was unpleasant,but I can’t say anything or over react since there’s nothing to be argue of.and then just keeping track of it.hearing stories and stuffs.but oh well that’s your part.then later on,more interesting news.haha.and after so many years,when we met again the awkward feeling to approach and talk to each other still seems clear.the learning memories and other things when you drop by still lingered in my mind when I recall the past year’s events.but it’s too late now.no turning back.i could just save it as shards in my heart and mind to be recall someday so it could remind me how terrible I was and do not repeat it again,or even smile when it comes to the good part.that’s why were not fated to be.it is already destined that way perhaps.better person for each other for the rest of our lives,indeed.so no use of feeling remorse or anything.life goes on yada yada yada.haha.so the purpose of writing this is just to let go what I’ve kept for the past 4 years which they had trigger me this evening to spill it out by doing this,,so immature haha.