1st last exm

1st last exm.just hoping tht can go through it cz we cant really assimilate the content.it was an interesting subject yet ....i jst saw ur back when we're still sitting by the sideroad wall as ppl were hustling to go in. i dont know y at that moment Allah make me to lift my head n saw ur back walking passed us. and in the hall i just walk n straightly looking for my table to avoid seeing things i dont want to.even when we finished i thought u're there with ur gang when your fren were teasing T since the car was side by side,i was wrong n i found out cz i asked my fren last night, u're the latest,n my thought was- ah must be seeing that thing.cant u just text?gawd~!- i dont look at my right side to avoid seeing things u see.but i ended up had a very short eye contact w the driver, n at that time i think u just get in the car. n last night when P n M wanted to go there having dinner, i almost declined.but i pray hard that i dont bump onto u guys cz of that spot.even in the evening, when we passed the area u always be, i still hv the courage to look at it,  thank god i dont see anything.everytime i take wudhu' when it come to the face part i'll doa that Allah dont let me see things i cant bear. n i am truly grateful for it at times.n the recent news i heard about my dear fren H ,was sort of heart breaking,almost made me cry, why is she need to experience things i had to. its painful n i dont want any of my frens to go through that.man are bakayaro.be firm.improve ur imaan.Ya Allah, please guide us.

name

Oh i forgot to mention that day in the last comp.class me n S were sort of relieved? cz we thought u 3 were not coming.then 'kreekkk'.u appeared.n S msg me in gmail chat.and u sat behind me.for the 1st and the last time of our final year n after the tragedy.n y am i emphasized it here.cuz u called my name,after 10months.i wonder how did u felt when u hv to called me to gv the attendance list?its sort of sad.but i wasnt sure of my feelings at tht time. i heard u.yes,but it was only once. so i ddnt turned back cz i dont want to be labeled 'perasan' plus u said it too slow.honestly if u call it another time that is twice,i would turn around.even though it would hurt me to see your face. then i heard the chair moved.'ahh hes coming'..i ddnt expect that. then i think u said something like 'nah..bla3'. i can only say thank you n not looking at you at all n concentrate on the screen. i tried so hard to be sincere, to put a smile n look at you,but yet still i dont hv the strength to do tht. i pray hard Allah gv me tht strength n sincere-ness.then the rest of the time i dont know whether u were looking or not cz me n T kept on going infront to show the asgmnt.im being selective visual so tht i dont hurt myself.even nowadays not looking at the parking lot so i dont see things i wont assume or will make a stipulation n then hurt me.even by not looking now its already torturing me at times.Ya Allah take away this sins n unnecessary feelings.

come on u need to move on n forget.its reaching the time limit already

last time

It was the last class . the last time we learnt together for the whole time in this place after all the years. u may hv few more months to go after this n yet i hope you're being a good muslim. changed to what u once told me u want to be, to what i used to perceived u, to what i always pray and never stop pray for. i could only see your back when you walk down the aisle; leaving the class. the last presentation. and the last time i'll ever see u other than  the final exam and perhaps last ever in my life; 9/5/13 Thurs.