new chapter begins~

yup 1st time leaving alone hmm~

Two weeks had passed.The odd world seemed fine and I'm starting

to get use to it.Eventhough some people couldn't be there,to see

and leave you away from the comfort zone,,for the 1st time,though

it should be that way years ago.Alhamdulillah,Ya Allah,the most

Gracious and Merciful for giving me the strength and willingness

without realising it to keep moving forward although the mind

partially kept on swirling/declining/objecting;but the body keeps

doing it as if somebody's instructing/operating yourself.The farewell

that Sunday evening actually was rather emotional,,but as she always

do,I did that to them-'salam',bye and turn around,,before more

'unwanted' scene occured.I dont know,how Allah had make me doing

all the things by myself,alone and emotionless;where no daddy/big

sis to send/talk to them,settling things,move around and many

more.Sometimes i feel 'empty',like a robot doing as it's been

programmed.

The 1st day was quite enjoyable;where I think other people wouldn't
get the opportunity like we did.Then the rest of the week just
exploring the area,getting to know places,what do they have and
how things work here.Afterwards the following week,tuesday;8am-
6pm,what a torture and it will remains for the rest of the term,I
suppose.The body couldn't sustained anymore.Maybe due to new
'ambience',new environment and new people;u just need to 'go
slow'.But NO!if u didn't follow as it is,how are you going to
overcome/endure/face more pain/obstacles/tears even more in the
next step?!They called.I know it's what everyone would
do;concern,caring and love.But it makes you 'weak'.Just a quick
response.It may sound 'unresponsive',but you need to build the
resistance.Like I told Zen''It's not that I don't want them to call,
I would love to,,but I prefer only sometimes or just messaging cuz it
can makes you 'break down''.Even she agreed.
The other peeps are friendly.Though haven't get to know the other
courses.Quite funny experiences in Chem and Eng;a bit,the rest are
OK.Thougher works and expectations,but if others can do it,why
can't you??The others are doing their own work.The path which is
already secured for them.Their own world.How I wish I could be at
their place.Sometimes it's sad to think of what you are now or how
they look what I am becoming,even though it's not that bad or it
is.*the medicine said can cause drowsinesss,but it's nearly 3.30am
and nothing happened.What a stubborn resistant!*
So yea,surviving the other week.What an accomplishment.Hoping it
can keep going well.I've been thinking/wondering;''with this frail
body can i pursue what i've been dreamt of?how come some real
movies/dramas made people with disease a great doctor/specialist?''
When you found out that particular person,that you look up and
love,find that you,sometimes are just a nuisance.It makes the tear
glands activated non stop.You've been thinking;gosh,all this while
my enthusiasm,cheerfulness and support,,gone with the wind.And
that certain people's response on you which is not what you were
hoping for,turn you off/dissapoint/halt the plans you intended to do
in the next meeting.But on 2nd thought;..Oh well,bad day,,not the
end of the world,..what goes around,comes around?..perhaps~
After all,human makes mistakes.That's my weakness or can be call
now;the ability of forgiveness;it's a good trait,isn't it?
The good news from Iffah was a big shock!Was just
guessing;spontaneous one,but it came out to be true.So many
questions being asked.Yea,I was curious;how,why,when,what?and so
on;bad traits-ask too many questions.My sis once told me to be a
lawyer because of that.But hey,it was too sudden,you need
info's~Anyway,Congrats!MashaAllah,,I'm really happy for you.May
Allah bless you with a blissful life~~I really envy her,though
something are missing but she's 10000 times better than me!All the
memories/lessons the 3 of us had had will be treasured forever!
Some people forget what friendship really is and treated things as if
'it doesn't matter' where as for others 'it does'.
Sometimes you just need to carry on walking.And back to the
Almighty One when you are lost.End what you had been doing and
sort the tasks you are destined to do/be.Even so~~